Risking Ridicule

Like most of us, I’ve felt fear and anxiety when approaching something difficult or unknown, whether speaking in front of large crowds or taking on unfamiliar physical challenges. For most of this time, I’ve treated these feelings with a tried and tested tonic: a ‘man up’ and a stiff pat on the back.

Cutting edge stuff, I know.

In 2025 I started a company for the first time, however, and I found myself a little bit lost. I know that we will succeed, but nevertheless, persistent, nagging thoughts sit in my mind:

Are we growing fast enough? What more could I be doing? I’m sure I’m messing lots of things up…

In many ways I think these thoughts are healthy; I use them as fuel and motivation. But when we do scary things and take risks, we risk feedback, criticism, and maybe even ridicule. And our critics may be completely correct.

Braving ridicule is hard! I’ve been searching for a framework to handle these feelings, so I’ve been diving into Buddhist and Hindu philosophy. During this exploration, I saw a quote like:

If you’re scared of doing something, do it ironically.

Irony normally connotes cynicism, which is not what I’d expect from spiritual teachings. Buddhism, however, has the notion of upāya, which encourages a practitioner to pursue the noble path through means appropriate to their circumstances, even if the reasoning isn’t “perfect”; in other words, the notion that something is better than nothing.

When we strive to replace fear with an ironic inner state, we are detaching ourselves from the outcome of our actions (at a minimum), which is a net-positive in the Buddhist lens.¹ Attachment disrupts “the sense of embodied freedom” that Zen provides. We can achieve this detachment by acting in one of two ways:

• Case 1: Replacing fear with cynicism to protect our egos. Although this sort of attitude is negative, we could do the big, scary thing as per the upāya teaching anyway and discover new boundaries about what we’re capable of (eliminating fear for next time!)² Thanks to Ketan Agrawal for this lovely idea.
• Case 2: Reframing the fear we feel with whimsical detachment, much like an ironic joke. In this case, our inner world is already positive, and we are acting with joy. This mental state embodies several key lessons from Hindu & Buddhist philosophy on how to pursue the good life.³ See Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy and Quotations from Swami Vivekananda

I think this provides an interesting framing for an ultimate mental state to progress towards when feeling fear. But it doesn’t quite address how to transition to this mental state when one is nervous or anxious!

Mindset

In Buddhism, when confronting a negative feeling (fear, anger, etc.), our goal is to accept fear or anxiety as an anticipatory feeling of a future which may or may not come to pass. It’s a conditioned, bodily reaction to a fundamentally stochastic world. We should strive to process feelings of fear and anxiety with mindfulness and warmth.

I adapted the Buddhist concept of samatha-vipassana to this situation to construct a runbook of sorts:

1. The first step is to bring samatha, or tranquility, to the mind, so we can assess a situation with a clear head:

• First, gently assess and focus on the touchpoints with the physical world: our feet on the ground, our back in a chair. These feelings are usually neutral and calming.
• Then, positive thoughts about our better nature can guide our mind to a more neutral place (“may I be compassionate, may I be at peace with what is”⁴ See verse on Fear & Terror from the Buddha’s teachings.).

2. The next step is to build vipassana, or insight over the situation. We can assess the feelings we felt before.

• Here, we can cultivate a joyful, whimsical outlook to the task at hand.
• If that doesn’t work, as we’ve established above, even a cynical, ironic view can work: “do it ironically!”

I’m going to give this runbook a spin in 2026 - let me know your thoughts or feedback!

1. Attachment disrupts “the sense of embodied freedom” that Zen provides.
2. Thanks to Ketan Agrawal for this lovely idea.
3. See Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy and Quotations from Swami Vivekananda
4. See verse on Fear & Terror from the Buddha’s teachings.